Readers asked: Since I am pregnant, I feel that my relationship with my mother has become tense, and her words can easily anger me.When she was pregnant, my mother accompanied me to do a birth checkup. Due to bleeding, the doctor prescribed her fetal medicine.
When the mother listened to, she stopped the doctor, and asked the doctor to protect the fetal medicine on whether the pregnant woman and the child had a bad impact. They were not satisfied with the dosage of the medicine. They felt that the doctor prescribed too much.With the outrageous experience of this checkup, my mother’s inspection was not allowed to participate once.
Occasionally, she would ask the doctor what to say, as long as the medication was involved, no matter what the reason, she said that let the doctor use the medicine.I have gestational diabetes. Doctors are worried that my sugar controls too much will affect my baby’s health. I suggest that when necessary, I can use insulin. My mother objected.
I don’t know if she has queried relevant information before each opposition. To this day, I am about to happen. I mentioned the nurse in the hospital and said, "It can be painless to give birth".Natural delivery is the best.
We used to have no pain before, and our mother was so great."I heard these hearts very dissatisfied and speechless. I don’t understand how this says from my mother’s mouth, and even feel that the uncomfortable and grievances of the whole pregnancy will erupt at this moment, but in the end I still endureThe idea of debating her with her silently walked away silently.
I hope someone can tell me how to do it to face these bad things. I am also worried that in the future, I will still be intervened by such ignorant suggestions in childcare.I don’t know if my mother and my mother and I have improved?I am full of defense with her. As long as she does not match my thoughts, I will be full of aggressiveness. I actually don’t want to do this in my heart.
I hope the general can help me answer it, a confused 29 -year -old pregnant woman looks forward to your reply.
It is hard during pregnancy, and you have to go through the disagreement with your mother, which will definitely make you feel more pressure.
I see some expressions of your mother, and I will have some emotions and feel that her suggestions are unreasonable.
But I want to ask you a question first. If she is not your mother, she is an ordinary relative or her mother, and even you are just seeing others on the Internet.Cognition and understanding will it make you have a strong and speechless emotional experience?Do you want to explode uncomfortable and grievances?
Just as you say, "You don’t want to be full of attack", you understand the mother’s conceptual limitations and backwardness at the rational level. After all, the intergenerational differences are too great, not just your mother, but that generation may recognize the pregnancy production of pregnancy production.Knowledge is very backward.
Your emotional conflict is because of emotional and relationship connections, because she is your mother, and you will feel that she should be unified with you completely with you, and everything starts from your needs.
Mother’s "ignorance" is actually starting from your well -being. Whether she thinks it should not be used during pregnancy or it is recommended to produce naturally, she is judged from her known and experienced information.The safest and best choice.
I believe that you will not question her original intention, just fuzzy "considering for you" and "keeping ideas" are not exactly equal, and "emotional closeness" does not mean that "cognition must be close."
We cannot demand anyone, even if an important others such as partners and mothers can always be consistent with us, try to distinguish between ideas and emotions.this.
Of course, if your mother can support all your ideas and actions and has more advanced ideas, it is definitely better and will make you feel more comfortable. How can you achieve such a state?Can I only rely on my mother to constantly update the iterative concept to learn to improve?
As my daughter, as my parents get older, I realize that parents can make some conceptual renewal and information absorption of information absorption are children. If you think her ideas are incorrect and backward, then you can take the initiative to communicate with her, notIn order to convince her, let her first understand more advanced ideas, build communication channels between you, and understand each other.
The above reply may make you feel that I do n’t stand with you. If so, I am sorry.There are many not easy for you to bear it alone during pregnancy. It is not necessary for others to replace it. During the period that needs care and love, it is really difficult to let you clarify all this and even take the initiative to communicate.
But the principle of "who suffers and who changes" is unchanged. The purpose of making changes is to make you feel comfortable, in order to make you from being disturbed, but also to avoid the inconsistency of the ideas you worry about.Impact.If this stage is not suitable, then raise your body first, wait for you to prepare, and then act when you have energy.
I wish you all the best, and I wish you a new life that is about to come to the world!”””””Psychological counselor said”
General Guo Guo, Master of Psychology of Beijing Normal University, National Second -level Psychological Counselor, Han Han [One] Popular Author, authored the book "For yourself, you are a stranger", "The world prefer self -enrichment".