Humor jokes: dreaming of being pregnant, gave birth to three packs of instant noodles


"I scolded the teacher on the test paper, the cow is not cow?" "I wipe it, you are going to ask your parents!" "Haha, you think I’m stupid! I didn’t write a name!"


The older sister is six years older than me, and has always been herself with her elders, and my wife thinks that they are flattering and never buy it.

Yesterday’s family gathering, my older sister told me, "You are also the boss, the money is spent on the blade, don’t always care about buying and buying." Then I glanced at my wife.

Today, my wife changed the WeChat name to "blade".


Because I was too fat, I made up my mind to lose weight. After a day of hunger strike, I was hungry at night. I thought that sleeping can alleviate hunger. I did not expect to dream that I was pregnant. I had three packs of instant noodles and woke up!


As soon as I got home, my son yelled at me: "Come back so late, I must go to my grandma’s house for meals. I am so personal. Trouble the elderly cooking for you all day.? "

I was on fire: "Close your fart, my mother doesn’t dislike me, can you manage it?"

My son replied: "Do you think I am willing to control you? This is my grandma just called and told me to tell you."


Friends ask the second grade son: What are you ranked in the class?

The son Niu said coaxing: Third!

Friends are very happy: Yo!not bad!

The son proudly said: Of course!There are only two that can’t beat.


In the past two days, the nephew had a positive and serious writing homework every day.The sister -in -law asked him: Son, do you suddenly love to learn?

The nephew said with red face: A girl in the class likes me.

The sister -in -law was broken, and he joked: It’s still the power of love.

The nephew is anxious: her long ugly and poor study.I want to study hard and prove that she and I are not a level!


I took the subway today, my pants were a bit tight, and I stood up and sat down in my mobile phone pants.

In less than two seconds, I sat on an aunt’s leg.


Playing games on the company’s computer during lunch break, the boss stood behind his hands and supported my back, stretched his head to watch.

The backwind situation finally won. I learned that Superman raised his fist and shouted: Yeah, I won!

Then a few drops of nasal blood dripped on my clothes. When I quickly took out the paper towels and handed it to the boss to wipe the nasal blood, the boss came in …

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