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On the pedestrian street, a pair of men and women came to a fortune -telling stand and said, "Count my relationship with my husband."
The fortune teller looked at the two and thought for a moment, and said, "Forgive me, the relationship between you and your husband has come to an end, and there is no need to force it anymore."
The woman relieved, holding the man’s arm tightly, and said softly, "I heard it, dear, let’s be together, I will divorce my husband when I go back."
The Lun family is a shy person. How do I tell my sister paper?
Every time Lao Shi and Lao Lin meet, they always tease each other.One day, Lao Lin suddenly stroked the bald head of Lao Shi, and then said, "You bald, it feels like my wife’s ass." Lao Shi touched his bald with a smile, and then said with the same sense: "Um!indeed
It is exactly the same."
sandwich…
Xiaoming exams home, his mother asked him, "What is the test?" Xiaoming said: "There is only one question wrong!" Mom asked: "What question?" Xiao Ming said: "How many times 7 are equal to?" Mom asked: "How many you are," Xiaoming said: "I waited for 20.9, no matter how three or seventy -one!"
Boys do some dirty things in the classroom
Spaniards like Niu Wan,
Whenever the bullfighting is over,
Cut off the "testicles" of Doubai’s cow to eat,
one day,
There is a Spanish to order Niu Wan at the restaurant,
The restaurant waiter said,
You pay the deposit,
give you tomorrow.
the next day,
This person is here to take Niu Wan,
It turned out that "Maru" was very small,
Just ask why,
The waiter replied: "Sir, not every time he lost ~ Today is the bullfighter lost ~"
It’s all tm, and it is recorded, is there any human!What’s more?
Yesterday, I received a greeting on WeChat, and opened it. It was MM.
Mm: "So boring!"
Me: "I am so boring!" (I look forward to asking me to go out to play.)
MM: "If you are boring, you can put a fart and chase!"
I deleted her without saying a word.
I lost my hands again!
There is a driver who often runs outside, so he raises one parrot to talk about the fatigue of the journey.
The parrot is not up to the host’s high hopes, and the learning tongue is very fast
On the long distance, hens were loaded in the carriage, and the parrot was placed between the chickens.
Late at night, I felt boring, and suddenly my eyes were on
A beautiful woman beckoning to take a ride, happy, then carried it
And it ’s very happy, I ca n’t help but have evil thoughts.
Think about the wild countryside, how dare the beauty dare not, and speak boldly: "Beauty, can you do it?"
The woman is very rigid, saying "No."The driver said: "Can’t touch it?" The woman also said "No"
The driver was angry, said, "No, go down"
So the beauty will go down.Continue to move forward, soon, conscience and color still exist, regret
Go back, invite beautiful women, beauty should be.
The driver was ecstatic and heart: I thought about my kindness, I can do it!
Soon after walking, my heart itching, stopped asking the beauty: "Beauty, can you do it?"
The female refused, and said, "No" and asked: "Can’t touch it?"
The driver was very angry, and said, "No, go down" again
This repeatedly, the driver never succeeded
Seeing that the end is approaching, the driver thought, no more, there is no chance
Ask the beauty again, "Beauty, can you kiss,", the woman is still: "No"
"It’s okay to touch it", the woman is still "no", the driver is very angry, saying "No, go down", he doesn’t care about it.
To the end, oh, my god, why the chicken in a car is gone
When he was wondering, I saw the parrot holding the last hen and asked, "Beauty, can you do it?"
The hen shook his head.The parrot said again: "Can you touch it?", The hens also shook his head
The parrot replied: "No, go down", throw the hens and get out of the car.
The driver was helpless, and the parrot would go down.
Just look at you more
One day, a foreigner who knew one or two in Chinese went to a factory.
During the halfway, the director said, "I’m sorry, let me go."
Foreigners do not understand this Chinese, ask translation: "What does convenience mean?"
The translation said, "It’s just going to the toilet." Foreigners: "Oh …"
At the end of the visit, the director of the factory enthusiastically said to the foreigner: "You will eat together next time!"
The foreigner was unhappy and said in a rigid Chinese: "I never eat when I was convenient!"
A wave has not subsided, come again …………..
A naked girl ran into a taxi, and the driver was on the whole body with a lot of her. The girl scolded "What to see, haven’t you seen a woman bare -body?", The driver said, "I see you, see youThe money is taken out of it. "
What dance is this beauty
A female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard and asked the classmates: "What is this?" As a result, everyone replied: "Ass!" The female teacher cried and looked for the principal.The teacher cried angrily? "He looked at the blackboard again:" Yo, you still draw a ass on the blackboard! "
Den egg rooster, fighter in rooster
One day the mosquito and the praying mantis went to peek at a woman’s bath. The mosquito said proudly: Look, ten years ago, I dangled two mouths in her chest, and now the swelling is so big;Ten years ago, a knife was split between her legs, and she was still bleeding every month …
The speed is beautiful, and it is not just for a moment.
In the hospital, the family was happy. The child said back when he was born. The child said, "Grandpa." Grandpa died.The child said, "Grandma." Grandma died.The child said, "Dad." His dad sounded that he was not dead at a glance. At this time, the child’s uncle died.
Sometimes death is passive, unconscious
A large elephant asked the camel: "How do your MM grow on the back?" The camel said, "Far away, I don’t speak with JJ’s face!" The snake listened to the conversation between the elephant and the camel next to it.A laughed laughed.Elephant turned his head and said to the snake: "Laugh p! Your face grows on JJ, not qualified!"
Look at Lao Tzu’s non -shadow hand, dedicated to shoe rubbing
A poor scholar studied hard, and wrote a couplet in front of his door to self -motivation.Gan Cong destiny ‘.One day, a person in Henan passed by here, and he was curious when he saw this couplet. He read it loudly in his hometown dialect: ‘Who c my P stocks’ eyes ‘, "I told him to make him hurt’ …… Well, there are horizontal batch!But this time he rebelled: ‘Tomorrow!""
Master, do you take it to me?
The kindergarten female teacher led the student to swim, and accidentally revealed a Y hair. One student asked the teacher, what is it, the female teacher pulled it out and said the head!
This car displacement …
The girl always shows off her new toy to the little boy. The little boy can’t help it, so he has to take off his pants and say that you will never have it! The girl also takes off her pants and said that my mother said that as long as there is this, how much you want in your stuff!
Shuffle
The driver sent the leader to the literary party and the leader entered the venue. The driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that I was a systematic with the leader. The security guard said: Chicken x and eggs are also a system.
This child is really hungry!Bleak
One day the bus came up with a lady and raised a bottle of fresh milk in her hand.When the bus arrived at a large station, seeing more and more people, it was difficult to squeeze even panting … After a while, the fresh milk that Miss took was squeezed by the crowd of fresh breasts covered with her stockings.The lady was very corrupt: I hate!IntersectionDon’t squeeze it!Everyone’s milk is squeezed out.
Since then, the two fell in love!
NO.1 Female dressing men’s clothing to fight:
A female soldier fought a male soldier to fight, suddenly menstruation, blood flowing stocks, and the long -chief asked: What was it ~ `?Where did you hurt?The female soldier said: It’s okay, it’s okay.The company commander didn’t believe it, forcibly took off his pants and looked ~ `!Big anger: J8 has blew up ~ `!I said it’s okay ~ `!
Do you need responsibility?
One day, my son walked over and asked dad
Son: Dad, why do men and women love that they are more comfortable for women?
Dad: Think about it, digging the nose with your fingers, is your nose comfortable or comfortable?
Son: So why do they seem painful when they were forced to be strong?
Dad: Do you think if someone walks on the street and someone will come over and dig your nostrils, will you be comfortable?
Son: Why doesn’t the man like to bring a sleeve?
Dad: Do you like to dig gloves to dig nose?
Son: So why can’t a woman be love when menstruation comes?
Dad: Will you dig your nose when your nosebleeds?
Don’t give you some movement, you can play your own!
There is a wolf baby. It does not eat meat and only vegetarian. Its parents are very worried.As a result, I saw a babies chasing a rabbit for a day, and my parents were very pleased.Then Baby Wolf grabbed the rabbit and said: Slay the carrots!Nympho
Don’t challenge "life"!
A little rabbit went to the pond to fish, and I did n’t catch it for a long time …
The next day, the little rabbit went to the pond to fish again. After fishing for a day, I still did not catch fish …
On the third day, the little rabbit still insisted on fishing in the pond, but still found nothing …
On the fourth day, the little rabbit still went to the pond fishing. A fish jumped out of the water and roared at the little rabbit: "You use carrot as a bait, Lao Tzu to death you!"
Baby diligent
— Hello, please call a car.I wear a black skirt at the XX intersection …
— Okay, where is it?
— Uh … to the knee …
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